Journeys in learning sewing, Italian and self-care

Oh hey there! I'm Gabrielle, Wellingtonion, artist, one husband, two fur babbies, learner and lover of Italian, knitter and newly returned to garment making after a decade and a half long hiatus.

Now for the serious shit. 2016 was, without a doubt, my annus horribilis. It was a period of fairly intense depression and extraordinarily high anxiety. I remember 2015 and I remember most of 2017 (this year) but I look back on 2016 now and there's this very weird, tautly strung, blank. There are memories, but they have a different quality and texture than other memories. It seems to have existed in the same way a black hole exists—as an immense sucking pressure that distorts time and space; a crushing void that took (and still sometimes takes) work and determination to get out of.

I'm about to start my PhD. Although a PhD comes with its own set of goals, one of my primary goals while I'm studying is to not go back to that place: the 2016 black hole. With the help of an excellent therapist and a loving partner I'm learning to give myself space for things I enjoy, and also allowing myself to enjoy those thing.

And so to starting this blog. I don't know how it will work yet, but I want it to be a space for celebrating both my crafting (primarily sewing and knitting) and my Italian language learning. Who knows how that will pan out, but I am excited about it panning out in the way that is of most benefit to me.

A space for play and rest and release to support the rigours and work and intensity of my PhD in Fine Arts. The exhale to the inhale.

I don't know if anyone will ever read this blog, but if it's triggering, here's some (NZ based) places to seek advice:

DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757
LIFELINE: 0800 543 354
NEED TO TALK? Call or text 1737
SAMARITANS: 0800 726 666
YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 or text 234